There is one thing that I, like most migrants, failed to learn even after 20 years of living abroad. It’s something that people who have never switched countries won’t even be aware of: there is no such thing as having a holiday back in your native country.
Before I left Finland for Poland this summer, I had promised East Anglia Bylines an article. My plan was to alternate soaking in my parent’s garden pool in Wrocław accompanied by a cold beer, with sitting in the shadow of our big walnut tree while working on my laptop. And I had hoped for much more. I had planned to take advantage of the fact that after a quarter of century – thanks to EU funds – I can take a train to Sobótka and climb the lonely Ślęża mountain that dominates the plains of Lower Silesia. Then I’d planned to visit heritage sites of the nearby town of Trzebnica. Both are places I haven’t been to for more than 30 years. But sadly, nothing came of any of those plans, it never does.
Things to do; people to see
There is a reason why I haven’t been to Trzebnica or Sobótka for so long. Even if you are a migrant, you don’t rest when returning to your country of origin. Despite having been away for two decades, you still have connections with your native country. And I am not even talking about the fact that when your friends and family learn that you’re back, they all want to see you. In fact, you could easily spend your whole trip just visiting all of them, going from one coffee meet-up to another rendez-vous over a glass of beer, which, believe me, while pleasant, can also be really exhausting.
It’s just typical that a returning migrant always has stuff to do. Those coming from Britain tend to visit doctors and dentists. In the short time they have during their stay in their home country, they try to patch up all their health issues, neglected courtesy of the de facto NHS collapse.
Many of us travel by car. This allows you to return with some home-made titbits and other things not available in your adopted country. So, the journey is not really that expensive if you take into account the fact that you save money servicing your car while on your holiday. In Poland, for example, car servicing is not only still much cheaper than in Scotland (where I used to live) or Finland, but also, I think it is more efficient. British garages seem to mostly just replace components and parts nowadays – the art of properly fixing cars is slowly disappearing. But dealing with garages and car mechanics even in your native country takes time and effort too.
And there is the paperwork
Often we have to waste some of our holiday dealing with bureaucracy. Some documents – like the Polish government ID for example – cannot be renewed abroad. And even for documents that can be – applying for a new passport, say – it is sometimes just easier to do it ‘back home’. Polish consulates in the UK are overwhelmed with the number of Poles living there, and even booking an appointment can be a challenge, making it difficult to complete applications in a timely fashion. Then there are often other matters to attend to – like making sure that children born in the UK are properly recognised by their parents’ native country. With Brexit especially, giving our children freedom of movement and all the other EU rights, is imperative for their future prosperity.
Aging relatives
Last but not least, most of us tend to have elderly relatives back home. We are not there to help them in their everyday matters, so when we are there, we try to help them as much as we can. And then there were those couple of days of my holidays I spent helping to clean my parents’ basement. Or helping them to clean up after a renovation. Or driving old furniture to the recycle centre. Or taking my dad furniture shopping in my van. It’s nothing compared to what my friends who live locally are doing – helping their parents every day, or taking holidays only to spend it renovating the family home.
Climate change
And then there is the weather. Climate change is very obvious in Poland. If I want to enjoy the warm, sunny summers of my childhood, I should stay in Helsinki, my new adopted home. My hometown of Wrocław in July is now a tropical hell. High humidity and 38 degree temperatures, interrupted regularly by massive thunderstorms – sometimes up to three times a day – is the new norm. And then there is the sound of sirens well into the night as the fire trucks circulate the city removing fallen trees or pumping water out of flooded basements. Disturbed nights and unbearable hot days all take its toll.
Of course, you could choose to spend your holidays in some tourist destination. But many people, myself included, feel guilty that they are not there to help, or even see, their relatives. And let’s be frank, if you live abroad you want to see your family.
So, when your European work colleague comes back after being away for a couple of weeks and seems to be working less efficiently than before they left, give them some slack. They were probably ‘holidaying’ in their motherland. Believe me, they have good reason to be very tired!
