
When Keir Starmer stops saying silly things, Pecksniff will stop reporting them. And this week we learn of a proposed Labour plan which sounds genuinely radical and will enthuse thousands of non-party democracy activist groups around the country. We learn Labour is considering introducing ‘citizens’ assemblies’ to address what The Times calls “contentious issues such as constitutional reform, devolution and where new houses should be built.” We explained the idea this week in a separate article.
Now it is easier to laud the advantages of devolving power from Westminster and Whitehall in opposition than when all that sexy power is in one’s own grasp. But fair do’s. This is a step which might prove genuinely effective and begin to deconstruct the monstrous brutalism of the corporate state. It also has distinct advantages for a new government beset by almost intractable decisions. Among them: major planning disputes and – as pointed out by one of the wise men at the Muckrakers – that old chestnut, reform of the House of Lords. Choose a representative ‘jury’ from the public, inform them, then let them come to a reasoned conclusion on which a final decision can be based.
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There is much debate on the timing of a general election. Rishi Sunak tries to give the impression that May is off the table, though there are several reasons why that date might suit him better than struggling on till the autumn. A later date would allow time for something, anything, to turn up, however implausible that seems. (A YouGov poll this week suggests that Labour will win 527 seats, the Tories will have 34.) But in return he has to endure the knowledge that most of his party hold him in contempt and will do anything they can to throw him out.

That could be what turns up, of course. So he risks being thrown aside in ignominy, with the possibility of becoming known as Britain’s worst ever prime minister. Whereas choosing a May election could be empowering. It would force his rebel MPs at least to pretend to be onside. It would emphasise where power lies – an issue which is currently in doubt – since only he can ask the king for a dissolution of his government. And it gives him the chance to be seen as acting with dignity and (he can argue) in the best interests of the country.
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You are no doubt agog, dear reader, to hear of the progress of another brilliant idea from one of our most prominent MPs. We speak of course of Liz Truss (SW Norfolk) and her new initiative, Popular Conservatism. It was announced with a fanfare, you will recall, and aims to capture the imagination of an electorate desperate to return to more Truss triumphs. After almost bankrupting Britain out of pique and then being voted most unpopular MP in the country, Ms Truss is presently on a lucrative tour of the Trump states in the US, talking of her political mission to enforce “the will of the people”. Who better them to launch a movement all about being popular?
Fortunately, the PopCon website is good enough to announce just how the public are thronging to be part of the Truss revolution. Three weeks after its national launch, the number who have joined the movement is…
…30.
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James Cleverly (Braintree) is the man who called the Rwanda scheme “batshit”, but now goes on to implement it, in order to show what a good team player he is.
He has gone further this week. He has actually been boasting about how he intends to reduce further our staff in the care sector, by ensuring overseas recruits can’t bring family members with them. Don’t be misled. This is not a vain attempt at getting a mention in the society column of the Braintree Times. Nor is it a hair-brained attempt at winning over the voters. He is only aiming at 11% of them. The 11% who may desert the Tories for the Reform Party. The Tories have lost most of the public, and it’s getting to the point where they have to fight the extreme right headbangers for what’s left.
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The Daily Mail had an interesting story this week about the exasperation of the armed forces with the performance of the defence secretary, Grant Shapps (Welwyn Hatfield). One fancies that when an admiral or a general is miffed, he or she is likely to put the point somewhat more bluntly than, say, a senior civil servant at the Department of the Environment.
And so it seems. The claim is that Mr Shapps is spending “as little as six days a month” at his job at the Ministry of Defence. His preoccupation instead appears to be with SLAP, which stands for Shapps Leadership Action Plan – a group of acolytes committed to see him as the next leader. (My dears, where does he find them?) So Mr Shapps is paid £145,000 as MP and minister but spends his time planning his next series of cock-ups, and the chiefs of staff aren’t having it.
We may also be quite sure that, after the hideous embarrassment of their latest Trident missile launch going plop into the ocean, apparently (according to Mr Shapps) because of the damp, they will hold him responsible. And who among us, dear reader, would choose to disagree?
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“Bombshell from Badenoch at the despatch box!” claims Duncan Baker (N Norfolk), showing his oleaginous side and an unfortunate taste for alliteration. Mr Baker’s sycophancy was spurred by Kemi Badenoch (Saffron Walden) and her spat with former Post Office chair Henry Staunton, who had rather skewered her with his allegations over the sub postmasters. But in the event, all Ms Badenoch can come up with so far is a refutation and some accusations of her own. Things aren’t looking too good for her. Worse, Nadine Dorries has kept all the receipts from her time in government, bears grudges, and owns a whole cupboardful of wax dolls and enough pins to go round. She has pitched in with her own allegations about La Badenoch. Mr Baker must hope she doesn’t have anything against him too.
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Then Saffron Walden’s finest was further discombobulated when her insistence that trade talks with Canada are ongoing was shot down by the Canadian government. This is important because British car exports are about to be hit with increased tariffs. Britain exports £746 million worth of cars to the country annually, and that would be in jeopardy.
“The trade and business secretary told MPs in January there are ‘ongoing’ negotiations with Canada to resolve looming tariffs threatening British vehicle exports, despite trade talks between the two countries being put on ice,” reports Politico. Canada confirms there are “no planned discussions”.
So, Ms Badenoch stands accused of misleading parliament – and of course the motor industry – by claiming all is hunky-dory, when all is instead about to go down the pan. But according to Liam Byrne, chair of the business and trade select committee, cars are not the only industry at risk. He says: “Having told parliament that negotiations on rules of origin or cheese are ongoing, it has now come to light that our Canadian counterparts say that did not happen.”
Ms Badenoch may have had worse weeks, but as a diarist, one has to say that the regularity of stories about her difficulties begin to resemble those of Ms Dorries herself. We have to wonder, therefore, whether we will shortly see Kemi Badenoch crash and burn.
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It is the misfortune of Thérèse Coffey (Suffolk Coastal) to represent a rural constituency not of contented arcadians, but of passionate eco-warriors and the kind of lefty arty types who don’t take noooo shit. Literally, as it happens. (The mystery is perhaps just how she was elected in the first place. Things have changed in 14 years, true, but one thing is, that in that time, Dr Coffey has doubled her majority.)
However, even Dr Coffey must have wished that the River Deben which runs through her constituency wasn’t one of the most polluted, and didn’t have some of the most militant champions. We have evidence of that in a new report from the Deben Climate Centre, a group of citizen scientists. From testing over the past 12 months from 25 different locations, it shows the river is one of the most polluted by phosphate and E.Coli in the country.
The nearby Martlesham treatment works are of course run by Anglian Water, and they are supposed to be regulated by the craven Environment Agency, who have already been caught out (by EAB) colluding with Dr Coffey over how to hide their failures.
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Still on Thérèse Coffey, she is of course given to announcing the first thing that comes into her head, only nothing ever materialises. (There is something in her Giles’s grandmother demeanour, you might notice, which suggests that whatever mess she is accused of this time is entirely down to us, the public.) Another of the Wise Men at the Muckrakers points out that the water restoration fund promised by Thérèse Coffey a year ago when she was environment secretary has yet to materialise. The idea was for the fund to use fines paid by water companies to pay for improvements to polluted waterways.
But not only does the fund not exist, there is no timetable for its establishment, and steering groups have not even met yet. One obvious excuse for the inaction would be that, since water companies are so rarely fined, there has been no money yet in the pot. It is possible however that Dr Coffey would prefer not to use that.
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At this stage, all political parties are playing their cards close to their chest, of course, but Labour may have inadvertently begun to make clear their intentions. Our attention is drawn to a leaflet being distributed in North Norfolk by the Labour Party, which explains that, for supporters keen to help, “our top choice for you is Peterborough”. Which rather gives the game away that the party can’t claim much chance in the seats between, North East Cambs or North West Norfolk, or of course North Norfolk itself. So the LibDems gratefully await your cross.
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Steve Barclay (NE Cambs) has been the environment secretary for over three months now, and so will shortly presumably be eligible for his gold watch. His present position fits unhappily with a major problem in his own backyard: an enormous and universally loathed incinerator apparently set to be built in Wisbech – due to be one of the largest in Europe. (Even Liz Truss from just over the border opposes it.)
“It makes no business sense, no ecological sense, no environmental sense,” claims one prominent critic, which puts Mr Barclay as environment secretary in a difficult position. Not only as a cabinet member but as the local MP, of course. He is not a man known to be light on his feet politically, so his response that he is merely “extremely disappointed” does not quite cut the mustard with his voters. His position as MP was considered a shoo-in, but there is already talk that it might be in doubt. Though probably not (see above) from Labour.
But as we go to press, the government’s decision of Tuesday appears to have been rescinded. Or not. The energy secretary Clare Coutinho announced it, then withdrew it, but there are rumours she is about to announce it again. Though there exists no evidence yet to suggest she has been shaking it all about, we must assume this is called the hokey-cokey approach to government. As they say, what if it turns out really that’s what it’s all about? This would explain a lot.
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Thanks go this week to Karl Whiteman, Linda Buckmaster and Simon Pease.
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